Lawrence Lacambra Ypil, Cebu City / Singapore Lawrence Ypil's latest book, The Experiment of the Tropics, was a finalist at the Lambda awards and on the longlist for the Believer book awards. He received an MFA in Poetry from Washington University in St. Louis and an MFA in Nonfiction from the University of Iowa. He teaches creative writing at Yale-NUS College.



Grief


Issue No.5
I could say mask: memory
and then imagine that you would
understand what I wanted to say

or that I returned to the hotel I had stayed in
but watched it from the scene I had once
watched from the window, that once,
and imagined I could still wave, get out,
or stay in, or hello, that easy narrative
of loss and return; that differently
that was no difficulty I could say: I was in grief.

And if others imagine this hidden
under watch the world, it was instead
the world that was gone from me,
as in childhood a feeling first
before that fact touch,
the outside only to the extent that it was
familiar to what was in, meaning it found the shape
of longing, what was no longer there,
and if this doesn’t match your childhood
then I was not that kind of child.