Bound
Grief is a great white sock that you wear at night but you remove in the morning. When I was a kid, you told me I have Lotus Feet. You said I was lucky. My future husband will be blessed, like the men who fell in love with village girls in kung fu movies. In that morning, my toes curled on the pond of my blankets. They carry the echo of steps stolen before I was born. Mother, I can't hear the usual clatters of your silverware. The sudden emptiness is like the moment you dropped your spoon into your soup and it never came up. You said I had mixed up the mangkok from the bowls and made you choose wrong. I sat where you sat. I looked at the same wall you looked at when Achi died. If only she had your feet, she wouldn't have. The root soup simmered on the stove. It was difficult to see how the roots held together when they were sliced thin like paper, floating in water. Those women, I've seen pictures of their feet, the way their toes were tucked under, the way the bones had broken and healed, their new shape no longer a foot, but a hoof, a charm only for the husband's eyes. You used to massage lotion into my feet every night. I sit on our bed until dark— my toes dangling over the edge.
Tongue-Tied
Mommy-la used to rotate plates whenever someone had to leave in the middle of dinner. Because it would bring them back. Until sixteen, I was afraid no one would rotate their plate for me, so I never left the table. I know now that I’ve been leaving every day since then. That things come and go without ever really coming or going. I know now that a watched pot never boils. But that an unwatched one burns and burns and ruins everything if you let it. In the ancient Chinese lore, the gods tied an invisible red thread around the ankles of people who were destined to meet, despite time, place, or circumstances. The thread could stretch and tangle. But it would never break. I imagine a man in a crowded city square who feels the tug of the red thread on his ankle and looks up to see a woman with eyes like auroral baguas in her face. Or perhaps he's walking down a busy street, when he sees an old lady in a doorway, smiling at him with one tooth missing.